Sunday, August 19, 2012

Today, I'm thankful for...

Today, I'm thankful for my boo boo and other half, Alison. :)
Celebrating Alison's 22nd birthday at Applebee's :)

The day I gave one of my best friends away- June 2, 2012

Ready for some CN football! :) 

Right before the Paranormal Activity 2 midnight premiere! 

Spring Break 2012- Surfside Beach, SC

We went to Dollywood on Dead Day...who really studies for finals anyway? 

Our Christmas card photo shoot! ;) 

I love her so so much!

Saturday, August 4, 2012

I Gave You All

I just want to know why. I want to know what happened to us. We were inseparable. People didn't hardly see one of us without the other. Did I do something? Did I say something out of line? Did someone tell some sick and twisted rumor and you bought into it? All I know is that you changed something in me. You made me want to be a better person. You MADE me a better person. There is no way I would have made it through the first 6 months of this year without you. I turned to you in times of need, I trusted you with secrets that I kept to myself, and I believed that you would never do this to me. But somehow, here I am, August 5, 2012 and I have been miserable for the almost two months. I told you how I couldn't deal with people leaving. I told you that I couldn't stand being left. I told you that I needed you and that I couldn't do this without you.
I have never felt so betrayed in my life. I was there for you. I didn't everything for you that I could. I gave you my all. I didn't ask for anything in return, but I figured you would at least be here for me when I needed you. I've dropped hints, I've said I need to talk, I've screamed my heart out trying to get you to hear me. But you don't hear me. It's like we never happened. It's like I don't exist. It's like you took all that time spent together and threw it out the window. And you know what? That hurts. More than any kind of hurt that I have ever felt. I have literally been depressed the majority of the summer and I hate to say it, but it's mainly because of you. You did everything that you promised you never would. You broke promises that you said you would always keep. How am I supposed to just up and get over this?
I don't even know how to feel at this point. All I know is that I NEED YOU, but you can't see that. You needed me, and I was here for you. Every step of the way. I can't do this on my own, but you act like you have no intention of helping me, and help is exactly what I need. Some people may think I'm crazy and that I'm overreacting, but I don't feel that way. You meant the world to me. You still do. I just don't know what I meant or even mean to you anymore. You have no idea how this feels, and even though you've inflicted the pain on me, I pray that you never have to feel this low. I don't deserve this, but I still believe that I deserve you.