Today, I'm thankful for my best friend of 10 years, Kimberly Christine Carter. We have been through it all together and I know there are so many more adventures that await us :) I have no idea where I would be without her.
Road Trip #76,305
Love this one :) It was taken at TCBY in the Summer of 2009
Typical of us...lol
Throwback...senior year at GHS :)
Too much coffee and not enough sleep after student teaching and interning...bahahaha :)
I just want to know why. I want to know what happened to us. We were inseparable. People didn't hardly see one of us without the other. Did I do something? Did I say something out of line? Did someone tell some sick and twisted rumor and you bought into it? All I know is that you changed something in me. You made me want to be a better person. You MADE me a better person. There is no way I would have made it through the first 6 months of this year without you. I turned to you in times of need, I trusted you with secrets that I kept to myself, and I believed that you would never do this to me. But somehow, here I am, August 5, 2012 and I have been miserable for the almost two months. I told you how I couldn't deal with people leaving. I told you that I couldn't stand being left. I told you that I needed you and that I couldn't do this without you. I have never felt so betrayed in my life. I was there for you. I didn't everything for you that I could. I gave you my all. I didn't ask for anything in return, but I figured you would at least be here for me when I needed you. I've dropped hints, I've said I need to talk, I've screamed my heart out trying to get you to hear me. But you don't hear me. It's like we never happened. It's like I don't exist. It's like you took all that time spent together and threw it out the window. And you know what? That hurts. More than any kind of hurt that I have ever felt. I have literally been depressed the majority of the summer and I hate to say it, but it's mainly because of you. You did everything that you promised you never would. You broke promises that you said you would always keep. How am I supposed to just up and get over this? I don't even know how to feel at this point. All I know is that I NEED YOU, but you can't see that. You needed me, and I was here for you. Every step of the way. I can't do this on my own, but you act like you have no intention of helping me, and help is exactly what I need. Some people may think I'm crazy and that I'm overreacting, but I don't feel that way. You meant the world to me. You still do. I just don't know what I meant or even mean to you anymore. You have no idea how this feels, and even though you've inflicted the pain on me, I pray that you never have to feel this low. I don't deserve this, but I still believe that I deserve you.
Well, since this is my first post, I'll just post 50 random but good-to-know facts about me...enjoy <3 1. My full name is Courtney Paige Rader 2. I blow out the candles on January 6th 3. I'm 22 years, 6 months, and 8 days old if you wanna get specific ;) 4. I work at Kmart 5. I love the Tennessee Volunteers...good old Rocky Top is home sweet home to me :) 6. I go to Carson Newman College 7. This is my lucky number 8. I'm single and that doesn't bother me 9. My favorite movie in the entire world is Pearl Harbor 10. My all time favorite TV show is The OC 11. I love watching Dance Moms, Jersey Shore, Grey's Anatomy, Pretty Little Liars, and How I Met Your Mother 12. I'm addicted to Netflix 13. I absolutely love listening to music 14. My iPod and I have a very close relationship 15. My friends mean the world to me 16. My coworkers are better than yours 17. I'm a Child and Family Studies major 18. I wear my heart on my sleeve 19. I don't trust people easily because I've been let down by many that I thought would always have my back 20. I drink water like there's a limited supply 21. Sweet tea is my weakness, especially from Little Top 22. I stay up way too late the majority of the time 23. I love taking pictures with and of people that I love :) 24. I love memories so we should make some ;) 25. Nicholas Sparks is my favorite author 26. I love watching scary movies 27. I love Sausage McGriddles from McDonald's but... 28. If I eat breakfast too early, it messes with my stomach 29. The future slightly freaks me out 30. I'm left handed 31. I love, love, LOVE when guys wear plaid 32. So far this year, I've crossed two things off of my bucket list 33. I have two sisters and I love them dearly 34. I'm completely different from both of them, but that's ok :) 35. I'm head over heels in love with Timothy Richard Tebow 36. New York Jets <3 37. I'm a huge New York Yankees fan 38. I use songs and quotes to deal with problems in my life...it's cheaper than therapy ;) 39. I absolutely love the Harry Potter series 40. I never want to turn this age 41. I'm super shy around new people 42. I would be nowhere without a girl named Alison and a boy named Stephen 43. I love sandals and flip flops 44. I love wearing sweatshirts/hoodies with shorts and flip flops 45. My grandparents inspire me 46. They drive me crazy at times, but I love my family 47. I love being organized...I get stressed out if I'm not 48. My closet has to be color coordinated and all of my clothes have to be on plastic white hangers 49. Alison Leann Williams is my boo boo, other half, and best good friend. I honestly don't know what I would do without her. 50. I'm glad this is the last fact because I'm running out of them ;) xoxo Courtney