Today, I'm thankful for...(#2)

Today, I'm thankful for my best friend of 10 years, Kimberly Christine Carter. We have been through it all together and I know there are so many more adventures that await us :) I have no idea where I would be without her.

Prom 2007

Road Trip #76,305

Love this one :) It was taken at TCBY in the Summer of 2009

Typical of us...lol 

Throwback...senior year at GHS :)

Too much coffee and not enough sleep after student teaching and interning...bahahaha :) 

Today, I'm thankful for...

Today, I'm thankful for my boo boo and other half, Alison. :)

Celebrating Alison's 22nd birthday at Applebee's :)

The day I gave one of my best friends away- June 2, 2012

Ready for some CN football! :) 

Right before the Paranormal Activity 2 midnight premiere! 

Spring Break 2012- Surfside Beach, SC

We went to Dollywood on Dead Day...who really studies for finals anyway? 

Our Christmas card photo shoot! ;) 

I love her so so much!

I Gave You All

I just want to know why. I want to know what happened to us. We were inseparable. People didn't hardly see one of us without the other. Did I do something? Did I say something out of line? Did someone tell some sick and twisted rumor and you bought into it? All I know is that you changed something in me. You made me want to be a better person. You MADE me a better person. There is no way I would have made it through the first 6 months of this year without you. I turned to you in times of need, I trusted you with secrets that I kept to myself, and I believed that you would never do this to me. But somehow, here I am, August 5, 2012 and I have been miserable for the almost two months. I told you how I couldn't deal with people leaving. I told you that I couldn't stand being left. I told you that I needed you and that I couldn't do this without you.
I have never felt so betrayed in my life. I was there for you. I didn't everything for you that I could. I gave you my all. I didn't ask for anything in return, but I figured you would at least be here for me when I needed you. I've dropped hints, I've said I need to talk, I've screamed my heart out trying to get you to hear me. But you don't hear me. It's like we never happened. It's like I don't exist. It's like you took all that time spent together and threw it out the window. And you know what? That hurts. More than any kind of hurt that I have ever felt. I have literally been depressed the majority of the summer and I hate to say it, but it's mainly because of you. You did everything that you promised you never would. You broke promises that you said you would always keep. How am I supposed to just up and get over this?
I don't even know how to feel at this point. All I know is that I NEED YOU, but you can't see that. You needed me, and I was here for you. Every step of the way. I can't do this on my own, but you act like you have no intention of helping me, and help is exactly what I need. Some people may think I'm crazy and that I'm overreacting, but I don't feel that way. You meant the world to me. You still do. I just don't know what I meant or even mean to you anymore. You have no idea how this feels, and even though you've inflicted the pain on me, I pray that you never have to feel this low. I don't deserve this, but I still believe that I deserve you. 

First Blogger Post, Son! Woo!

Well, since this is my first post, I'll just post 50 random but good-to-know facts about me...enjoy <3 
1. My full name is Courtney Paige Rader
2. I blow out the candles on January 6th
3. I'm 22 years, 6 months, and 8 days old if you wanna get specific ;)
4. I work at Kmart 
5. I love the Tennessee Volunteers...good old Rocky Top is home sweet home to me :) 
6. I go to Carson Newman College
7. This is my lucky number
8. I'm single and that doesn't bother me
9. My favorite movie in the entire world is Pearl Harbor
10. My all time favorite TV show is The OC
11. I love watching Dance Moms, Jersey Shore, Grey's Anatomy, Pretty Little Liars, and How I Met Your Mother
12. I'm addicted to Netflix
13. I absolutely love listening to music
14. My iPod and I have a very close relationship
15. My friends mean the world to me
16. My coworkers are better than yours
17. I'm a Child and Family Studies major
18. I wear my heart on my sleeve
19. I don't trust people easily because I've been let down by many that I thought would always have my back
20. I drink water like there's a limited supply
21. Sweet tea is my weakness, especially from Little Top
22. I stay up way too late the majority of the time
23. I love taking pictures with and of people that I love :)
24. I love memories so we should make some ;) 
25. Nicholas Sparks is my favorite author
26. I love watching scary movies
27. I love Sausage McGriddles from McDonald's but...
28. If I eat breakfast too early, it messes with my stomach 
29. The future slightly freaks me out
30. I'm left handed
31. I love, love, LOVE when guys wear plaid
32. So far this year, I've crossed two things off of my bucket list
33. I have two sisters and I love them dearly 
34. I'm completely different from both of them, but that's ok :)
35. I'm head over heels in love with Timothy Richard Tebow 
36. New York Jets <3
37. I'm a huge New York Yankees fan
38. I use songs and quotes to deal with problems in my life...it's cheaper than therapy ;)
39. I absolutely love the Harry Potter series
40. I never want to turn this age
41. I'm super shy around new people
42. I would be nowhere without a girl named Alison and a boy named Stephen
43. I love sandals and flip flops
44. I love wearing sweatshirts/hoodies with shorts and flip flops
45. My grandparents inspire me
46. They drive me crazy at times, but I love my family
47. I love being organized...I get stressed out if I'm not
48. My closet has to be color coordinated and all of my clothes have to be on plastic white hangers
49. Alison Leann Williams is my boo boo, other half, and best good friend. I honestly don't know what I would do without her. 
50. I'm glad this is the last fact because I'm running out of them ;)
xoxo
Courtney